Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Review

OK, I'm done. I'm never getting excited about a game unless it's Saints Row or some game in which impregnating every hot chick in the world is the main objective. I got very excited for Grand Theft Auto IV and it let me down worse than the Denver Nuggets final series performances. But how could you not get pumped for a brand new Call Of Duty thats the sequel to such a great game CoD4. Unless your Hitler or Russian.

I'm not saying I don't like Modern Warfare 2. I'm saying it's a letdown. Single player will be the first issue of bitching. I know games like Call Of Duty are built and mostly played for multi-player but with the CoD4 story so good, you think they would expand and make a even better longer single player experience. But instead they make it even shorter. Fair enough it was a good story but atleast find something to do with it. Single player is also hounded by elitist faggots concerning the now infamous "Airport Scene" which involves mowing down innocent people. Really? I enjoyed that to the near point of ejaculation. Now we know how Stalin felt. 

The overall story is good. Has more twists than something that has a lot of twists and is narrated by and only by the loading screens. Now, you may be asking Kieran, You seem to be praising this game. Well, this is where it stops.

Single player is way to short, You could easily beat Veteran in 5-6 hours. Unless you control the game like a quadriplegic standing to take a piss. The ending leads way to yet another sequel. Why can't we just end the fuckin' thing so you can make a new disappointing in length story without a guy named after a fucking cleaning aid.

Multiplayer is also rubbish at things. Everyone still uses the M16 and the P90. Really? We spent two fucking years waiting for this game and you still use the same god'damned weapons. The removal of Juggernaut had me somewhat annoyed, I don't mind you removing it. Just take stopping power with it, So we can use more than Stopping Power on our red perk. There are also to many friggin' attachments for guns also and with the abilty of adding to it makes out for a great silenced heart-beat sensor bonanza. Also, What the fuck is with everyone camping, Im near the point of giving up multi-player because everyone is so fucking paranoid their going to get killed and miss the chance at getting their eleven killstreak AC130. Fuck off with your goddamn silenced Barret 50.cal and if you get the fucking bomb in search and destroy, Please god do not camp with it (with your silenced Barret 50.cal).

Infinity Ward lied to us more times than spell check does with the proper spelling of words. They said we would have local search. Local search works as well as a Motorola cell phone. Every time I get put into a game with Americans. I've got nothing against Americans, Alot of my Xbox Friends are American, I just hate being told that we will get local search to find Australian games and when we get put into a game we get red bar connection. The whole match making system sucks anyway. Half an hour in a 5 man party looking for a team deathmatch game. We finally found one, Host left, Host migration shit itself and died. Then we all got kicked out and the cycle restarts. We were also promised alot more hardcore games for those of us who choose to be creative with our class load-outs and not have ACR, Stopping power and steady aim. We got two hardcore modes. Two. So instead of hardcore free-for-all or headquarters we are blessed with the chance to play 3rd Person Team Death-match. Which is more gimmicked than a TNA pay-per-view.

A new Co-Op mode called Spec Ops is introduced also. It is quite fun although shitty because I can only play with one friend while the others endure our tactical talk and feel sad they're not having the thrilling time with us. Would it kill you to put some fucking checkpoints in? Honestly It can be annoying on Veteran having to start all the way from the start. Please stop lying about your best time Infinity Ward, Your not fooling anyone.

The fast paced style of Call Of Duty seems to be eroding. The fact everyone snipes and we have to endure the "Round winning kill" which just show cases how bad everyone is at aiming. I don't think we can blame Infinity Ward. We are to blame, We care to much about getting a good Kill/Death ratio it's bullshit. When Call Of Duty: World At War came out, I was amazed that no-one used the flamethrower. Sure it's not a good weapons, But more fun than teasing fat Americans with free health-care. So I ask everyone to fuck off with their K/D ratio, And have some fucking fun for Christ sake.

Story - 9

Graphics - 8.5

Sound - 9

Multiplayer - 8.5

Overall - 8.5

Far Cry 2 Review

Ok, Since Ubisoft have now gone into the direction of making games based on other peoples culture and lands, it was only a matter of time before Africa came into it, What part of Africa? We don't know, but i seem to be guessing a cross between South Africa and Somalia.

OK as we begin we get to choose what mercenary we can be and it does not really matter what one you pick seeing as though they never fucking talk, Not only does he have malaria he also has Saints Row 1 disease. Right our mission is to kill a weapons dealer known as "The Jackal". Who seems to be a very witty man, helping those IE us who are planning to kill him. Actually he almost killed me by causing an epileptic fit because of the subtitles moving so fast, because the man cleary does not need to breathe. Seriously everyone in this game talks to fucking fast. This is why games need cut scenes when opening into missions, Assassins Creed also had this problem, NO! I'm sorry but there is no need to still be able to move around freely in briefing's, although there not really briefings there more of a how many words can i say in 15 seconds.

So the storyline suddenly takes a turn for the worse when you relies the country is at civil war between to factions APR and UFLL, And it is your job to do missions for these factions. And these missions are the same fucking things, For example, the first missions for the APR involves you blowing up something of the UFLL, And the UFLL's first mission is you blowing something of the APR up. And it continues like this for the rest of the game, Unless you want to do side quests. Them including Blowing up Weapon convoys, to unlock more weapons to chose from, which makes no sense, How about we steal the truck and the weapons, thus not having to waste money i mean diamonds on piss weak guns. 

Other side missions are being the local hitman to a guy who sounds like Harlem's answer to Darth Vader. Which sounds all well and good but there the same fucking thing, Drive for 20 minutes get out lay some bombs, run away, chuckle and BOOM! mission over. Lets hope you don't laugh to loud because the enemies from 1000 meters away will and do hear you and come charging at you with trucks with grenade launchers which will fuck you up. For a game with so much cover and stealth opportunities it never seems to grasp the idea of stealth.

Another annoying quality is repetition, Driving and Boating along for 20 mins is bad enough but when you have to stop every 20 feet to get out and shoot some guys that you killed 5 mins ago and refuse to go away does get really fucking annoying, and you find yourself looking at the map for up to 6-12 hours just trying to figure away around these "enemy checkpoints". And they are fucking everywhere. And also the game world is to fucking huge. This problem is evident in Grand Theft Auto 4 and Just Cause. Luckily in them you can call a cab or a pick up, which you found yourself doing every time you have to go from a to b, but with the distance covered it might as well been A to Z. More than half of the map is just mountain, forest and desert. Even though the graphics are damn near amazing it still does not make up for the long boring drives.

It seems by now that its very hard to make any friends in this game, Even the door men for both factions will shoot at you given the cease fire is broken, Which is weird because they look and sound like the same person. Although you do have Buddies, And once there dead they is not aint comin back, But while there alive you might as well use them while you can, When you start a faction mission they will ring you up, tell you a more time consuming way to do the mission in return for some hideout upgrades such as Cars and ammo piles. And if you get killed in action they may even turn up to help you out.

The game comes with a map editor, which is a huge waste of time because no one wants to play or download "explosion city" where you think your so fucking original because you stack a shitload of explosive barrels in the middle, some ammo piles and a shitload of mounted machine guns. The maps pre-made by Ubisoft are good enough and don't require taking up my Hard drive space. Multilayer is alright but its consumed with people sitting behind hang gliders snipping you from spawn at any and every given opportunity. And comes with an XP rank up system thats higher than Jimmi Hendrix on a goodnight.

So all in all, Far Cry 2 is a great game. Despite my bitching.

Sound - 8

Graphics - 9.5

Multi player - 7.0

Fun - 8.0

Overall- 8.5