Most people tend to think that having your whole game being played for one thing as a bit of a shitty game. And I tend to agree. But this time it literally is Treyarch vs Infinity Ward. In my personal opinion in terms of Single Player I go for World At War, Now before we light on fire worse than a small outback Melbourne town, I like WW2. I know that WW2 video games are prostituted just as much as Mario these days, But with recent war efforts the Americans need something to liften the spirits. I also like how the whole god damn storyline is not based on movies. This is a fact because their is no storyline in World At War, Shoot some Japanese, Shoot some Germans. Win the game, Achievement for you.
If we buy games purely for Muliplayer which is often the case in most if not all FPS (exception of Brothers in Arms because that multiplayer is worse than multiplayer on the arcade version of Bukkake Ninja) We really don't need Single-Player which tends to be the excuse Infinity Ward as mustard up. You can say "It's really a single player experience" all you want but when that lasts for 5-6 hours, I'd get a better time playing the hard as fuck built in game on my Television. But the real reason is Co-Op fails. No one plays it on World At War for 4 reasons. First people are dickheads, Second you are a dickhead, Third I'm a dickhead and Fourth We are all dickheads. We can complain and say PUT IN A CO-OP mode all we want but when they do we find ourselves over-whelmed with idiots fucking it up. I don't care you know a glitch, Shut the fuck up and drive your tank to the end. The only good Co-Op I've ever known that's based on the actual storyline of games is Saints Row 2.
Now back to reviewing Nazi Zombies. Since Treyarch realised no one gives a shit about your actual hard work and would rather play some dumb mini-game you thought of, We now have 3 Map Packs. All of which we buy for and only Zombies. Now in case your an idiot who didn't buy World At War purely on the belief that anything Treyarch make is the evil spawn on Stalin, Zombies is you and up to 4 people battling it out trying to survive X amount of rounds.
In Der Riese, There are several new thing's. Such as Weapon Upgrade Machine otherwise known as The Pack-A-Punch. It will turn your ordinary Gewehr into well an ordinary Gewehr. But say we put the Browning through and it becomes an ammo stealing cunt machine gun that will run out of ammo before you can think of 2 examples of cheese's.
There is also Teleporters, Which are useless because no one camps near them and if you are stupid enough to all they do is transport you into a small confining alcove and makes you get a good raping, Good enough to put Michael Jackson to shame.
For 800 points or 15 Australian Playstation Money crap, It's well worth it, It comes with new Achievements and it's well worth playing it with friends. And don't listen to Infinity Ward fanboys because Nazi Zombies will shit all over "Special Ops" mode, But you can't tell them that, But if they realised Clean Up Captain Price's Dogshit Filled Backyard, They'd still grovel at the damned thing.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Just Cause Review
Since no games have or come out in the past month, I'm going to go a wee bit retro. With the smash hit Just Cause.
Just Cause is set on a series of Islands somewhere near South America. The in-game world is way to big which seems to be the case in these "Sandbox" games. Something I've never understood because the sandboxes I've come across all have crying children and are full of cat shit. But in any event the world is far to big and it's one of those ones where it's big just to be big. Like a Gay black porn movie. Honestly what is the point of having a world so large when about 80-90% of it is fucking tree's and hills. And what confuses me to tits is that some trees you can glitch through and others will stop you from your speed of about 120km and set you and your car on fire. Mother Nature yet wins again.
You take on the roll of Rico Mendez or something I'm not good with Spanish crap, Perhaps it should be the Janitor at the San Antonio train station writing this, But I don't care. Rico is one of those faggot Latin stereotypes where he talks gay, looks gay, walks gay, acts gay and most probably is of course... Gay. But in true style he is someone of a ladies man.
The main story is about 20 missions. I kid you not, 20. Shorter then that of a blonde haired 4 year old's stay in Portugal. And you have over 300 side mission's. 300, Why the fuck could you not remove a few of these to make some room for more story mission's. I realise that in Sandbox games such as this replay ability is a touchy subject. But don't overrun your game by these modes. They include, Assassination's, Stealing Cars and blowing random shit up. And as you can tell by my 3 and only examples they are more repetitive then a Serbian DJ's music choices.
All of these "Sandbox" type of games all require vehicles and/or other modes of transportation. In Just Cause you can drive a car that handles like a brick with toothpicks for wheels. Aeroplanes that fly as if they've already crashed into the twin towers, And boats that move slower the Retirement home conga line. But if your smart like I am you use this for a little bit and when you realise you can just call up your CIA friend with their helicopter to drop you anywhere on the map, Why bother doing it manually.
Just Cause is a single player only game which is good because online play would be deader then a 1960 Black person riding shotgun as the bus pulls into Oklahoma.
Just Cause is set on a series of Islands somewhere near South America. The in-game world is way to big which seems to be the case in these "Sandbox" games. Something I've never understood because the sandboxes I've come across all have crying children and are full of cat shit. But in any event the world is far to big and it's one of those ones where it's big just to be big. Like a Gay black porn movie. Honestly what is the point of having a world so large when about 80-90% of it is fucking tree's and hills. And what confuses me to tits is that some trees you can glitch through and others will stop you from your speed of about 120km and set you and your car on fire. Mother Nature yet wins again.
You take on the roll of Rico Mendez or something I'm not good with Spanish crap, Perhaps it should be the Janitor at the San Antonio train station writing this, But I don't care. Rico is one of those faggot Latin stereotypes where he talks gay, looks gay, walks gay, acts gay and most probably is of course... Gay. But in true style he is someone of a ladies man.
The main story is about 20 missions. I kid you not, 20. Shorter then that of a blonde haired 4 year old's stay in Portugal. And you have over 300 side mission's. 300, Why the fuck could you not remove a few of these to make some room for more story mission's. I realise that in Sandbox games such as this replay ability is a touchy subject. But don't overrun your game by these modes. They include, Assassination's, Stealing Cars and blowing random shit up. And as you can tell by my 3 and only examples they are more repetitive then a Serbian DJ's music choices.
All of these "Sandbox" type of games all require vehicles and/or other modes of transportation. In Just Cause you can drive a car that handles like a brick with toothpicks for wheels. Aeroplanes that fly as if they've already crashed into the twin towers, And boats that move slower the Retirement home conga line. But if your smart like I am you use this for a little bit and when you realise you can just call up your CIA friend with their helicopter to drop you anywhere on the map, Why bother doing it manually.
Just Cause is a single player only game which is good because online play would be deader then a 1960 Black person riding shotgun as the bus pulls into Oklahoma.
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